Volume 2 / Issue 3 / July 2009
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Write Tight©: A Baker’s Dozen tips

By Helayne Lightstone, The Hospital of Central Connecticut 

People are busy, and want quick take-aways from what they read. This is especially evident now that folks text and twit in an evolving, abbreviated language. Marketing communicators may not be able to use emoticons or phrases like “C U later” in their work.  But the effectiveness of tight writing cannot be overestimated, whether in a press release, web post, or annual report, where space is also an issue. Hope these tip and tricks help.

1. Less is more.

Overstatement dilutes your message. Example of a lede: The elementary school Michelle attends is in a terrible state of physical disrepair, with many deteriorating red bricks on the front and sides of the building, along with ceilings tiles that have large rings of brown water stains.

Tightened: Michelle's school is marred by crumbling bricks and stained ceiling tiles.

2. Show, don't tell.

Readers don't need to be told that Michelle's school is in a terrible shape. Show it by painting a clear, concise picture (crumbling bricks and stained ceiling tiles). There are, of course, literary exceptions, but we are not usually writing literature. And some great literature adheres well to the “show, don't tell” rule.

3.  Each word has value.

If it doesn't make a distinct contribution, a word doesn't need to be there, even if descriptive. Unless we are cataloguing damages for actual repairs, do people need to be told the deteriorating bricks are red, or are on the front and sides? “Rings of brown water stains” is descriptive and evocative--you may even want to use that phrase later in the story. But the lede, in particular, should be short. Is there any detail we've left out that affects content? Maybe. For example, the word “elementary” may be pertinent to the story. But perhaps it's irrelevant.

4. Not all words are created equal.

Some words are more valuable than others, because they instantly say in one word what often is said in several.  For example, you can say a piece of writing "has too many words" (four words) or you can say it's "wordy" (only one).
 
5. Obscurity obfuscates.

Some words are too obscure, resulting in confusion vs. clarity. You can say a piece of writing is "pleonastic." Which means wordy. But how many people know that?  Since most won't stop to look up a word, you have lost your point. And lost your reader.

6. Simple is beautiful.

If a sentence is too long, it has too many points. Simplify.
“The new outpatient clinics will be built next to the freestanding surgery center, and they will contain comfortable waiting rooms equipped with telephones so patients feel at ease, as well as space to have coffee or a snack.” You can pull half a dozen words out of this sentence without losing any meaning.

7. Periods have a point.

Somehow, we've gotten the message that short, staccato sentences are not good writing. But short sentences can be your best friend, particularly when dealing with complex material. A good trick is to break down a process or explanation into short sentences, almost like a step-by-step how to, or outline. At minimum, the writing will be tight and clear. If the flow seems choppy, go back and massage the transitions. 

8. Repetition is boring. Repetition is boring. Repetition is boring.

Get rid of it. If you say in the lede that expanding a facility will improve the patient experience, don't repeat it every time you describe another feature. Hitting people over the head with the same point too many times makes them numb.

9. Dump assumptions about assuming.

Unlike the common adage about the word assume, when you write tight, you can trust the reader to make certain assumptions.  For example, if your story’s subject is the new, high-intensity combination X-ray and wrinkle reduction machine, you can introduce it as such on first reference. After that, the word "machine" is usually enough. Assume the reader knows which machine you're talking about.

10. Stomp out copy stoppers.

Copy stoppers block your work’s clarity and voice, and a clear voice carries your writing where it should go. Unsure if your writing is working? Read it out loud, and see where the voice stumbles. Common copy stoppers include:
• Obscure acronyms. For the high-intensity combination X-ray and wrinkle reduction machine, what benefit is there to saying or writing HICXRWRM? Instead, use a descriptor, like “machine.”   
• Excessive use of parentheses
• Anything that’s awkward in speech, phrases like he/she; her/him, ie.

Use bullets, bolding and itals for emphasis, bearing in mind rule 1: less is more. Emphasizing a single key point is often more effective than emphasizing many.

11. Kill the dead giveaways.

Certain words are dead giveaways that your writing is not tight. My favorite is "of". If you see the word "of," go back and see if you can tighten. Examples:

The president of the class vs. class president.

Welcome to Write Tight. The goal of this class is to help you achieve a style of writing that is tighter than it was before, vs. Welcome to Write Tight. The goal is achieving tighter, writing.

12. If it looks or sounds problematic, it is.

You all know what it's like to have a hard time with a complex communication. Start over. Simplify.

13. Cut to the bone.

Be brutal when trimming your work.  It will be much sharper.

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